07/19/2021
02/24/2019
taco stands are intimidating
I was easing my way back into city life after the peaceful lagoon vibe of Bacalar and felt completely overwhelmed by my first day in Oaxaca—talk about sensory overload!
Between the hawkers, the music, the tour guides, the people and parades, and the endless streets spotted with cafes, galleries and surprises – let’s just say I didn’t last long the first day and happily retreated behind the tall concrete wall to my casa which felt like a different world. A gated complex full of palm trees, greenery and the most beautiful flowers, shared between a handful of local Oaxacan families was where I called home and it was perfect behind those walls.
As a continued joke after leaving my friends in Tulum I playfully attempted to abide by my arbitrarily set daily budget of 100 MXN which quickly went out the door the moment I walked into the Oaxaca Zocalo and was folded into the hustle and bustle of all the local cuisines, treats, and shopping.
Plus I didn’t have a kitchen this stay so I was eating out, and eating I did.
I found myself doing laps around the same two markets day after day before realizing why. The more familiar I felt with the surroundings, what the vendors were offering and how I seemed to perceive the rules of the game within the aisles, the more comfortable I felt entering into business transactions, and I really wanted to do business!
They had everything you could imagine and I felt the market was the easiest place to engage and make purchases as they were busy and you seemed to just fade into the noise. Versus in some shops where the attendants hovered over you giggling and exchanging Spanish with their co-workers.
Here everything was on display so there wasn’t a lot of communication or translation required – and clearly my duo lingo days, or lack thereof wasn’t providing a lot of support on the communication front. The women selling home made empanadas out of their cases covered in beautifully woven colourful blankets were always so polite and I loved being able to support them if I wanted to eat something.
But I was ready to branch out from the empanada, and one night found a side street full of taco stands. I was excited, but anxious. I think the level of stress I felt just thinking about approaching one of these very local very authentic taco stands stemmed from a combination of being alone, being a female, and not speaking the language. This just resulted in being the centre of attention which in this context I really wasn’t looking for.
I was still learning the food in Oaxaca as it differs slightly in each region, and taco can mean something completely different at different stands and I didn’t know the rules for the stand, what to order or even where to order. They have a sort of wrap around table extension attached all around the stand with seating, and the cooking area and taco magicians are on a platform above (so as you sat you literally couldn’t see anything going on, maybe a good thing!).
The front row, we’ll call it, was usually packed full, and then there was a second row of stool seating further back behind the stand, sometimes stools were open, and sometimes they were taken, but those people weren’t eating. Had they ordered already? Was there a queue system? Who did I talk to? These seem like all relatively normal questions coming from a Westerner who is used to proper order of events and restaurant etiquette.
But this was Mexico, and this was street food. I seemed somehow unable to easily detach from my Western ways at times as these thoughts were clearly taking up a lot of space in my mind. Like just order the damn taco right! I know. Like with many things in life, attack it with confidence and fake-it-till-ya-make-it if you need to!
I felt like I needed to make a split second decision about taco stand choice while assessing multiple factors at once. Were there seats, what was the crowd like, was it the most sanitary one, how many people were touching the food, could I see the food, what were my options. It’s always easier when you’re with someone to stop and ponder and discuss on the street corner, but suddenly when you’re alone you feel like a bit of a weirdo just standing there staring like a lost puppy just wanting a taco.
Some nights it all just got too much and I went home only slightly satiated on a sample shot of mescal offered for free on the street. Clearly I had enough guts to take a shot and decline going into the store to actually purchase anything. One on one interactions were a lot easier to navigate. Which is probably why I have all the courage in the world to approach a cute guy. Flirting, making conversation, being charming, all good, I’ve got that in the bag. Wait maybe I’ve had a cocktail first in those cases. So do I just need to pre-drink before hitting the taco stand for dinner? Liquid courage, makes sense I guess. But I’ve made some unspoken pact that I’m not really drinking right now so better just suck it up buttercup.
On the adhoc days when I hadn’t pre-selected the venue prior to leaving home, and once I’d identified where I was going I just went for it with all the smiles and all the Spanish I could throw at them in one sentence. At least I was trying! Low and behold getting through the taco stands had me coming out the other side with a greater sense of confidence each time. That makes all the uncomfortable awkwardness and stares worth it in the end.
And let’s be honest no one really cares about me and my tacos nor will they think about that moment ever again. This is true for most situations in which we find ourselves creating a whole lotta mellow drama about how we might be perceived in a situation – look no one really cares!
That drama right there, that fear, we create that ourselves, and we can fix it ourselves too. So I finally sat at the intimidating taco stand and after exchanging charade type introductions about where we were from with my meal mates, we sat in perfect silence (just kidding you know it’s never silent in Mexico, but you get my point) sharing selfies, salsa, and smiles.
All was well in Oaxaca.
Here’s also what I’ve found, if you have more time you can scope things out and go back another night with all the confidence and courage in the world knowing a little of what to expect. The rest is a tried tested and true technique I used throughout India: watch and follow. Again an approach you can use for anything new you want to try.
As I thought about the taco stand intimidation further, because well, I have picked up this training along the way lately that says look for meaning in everything! I couldn’t help but wonder if what I was feeling was coming from a deeper story somewhere inside. If I had a therapist I’d most definitely be bringing this one into the next session feeling like I might be on the verge of striking gold and making a real breakthrough. But instead I am left alone wondering what kind of fear or insecurity this may be trying to show me that I need to deal with.
Or.. is it just really harder for everyone to approach groups of people when you don’t know the rules or how to ask about them?!
I’m ok with the eating alone part: it’s just getting to the food in front on you part that seems daunting at times, especially as I try to eat as authentic as I can and well, in my head that means street food! If I had Spanish to fall back on I feel like it would make a world of difference in the quantity and quality of my interactions. So here’s my advice, learn a second or third or fourth language! Do it now!
But hey, maybe there’s an upside!
My friends were gearing up for our Costa Rica retreat by buckling down in their cold weather, working out and getting fit and there I was eating my way through Oaxaca knowing full well I needed to rock a bikini in a near week.
So on the nights I went home too intimidated by a taco stand and subsequently not feeling like passing out from a full stomach into a Oaxacan cheese coma, I decided I was really ok with that, and figured that maybe my clothes would thank me the next day.
The irony is not lost on me that a woman who is often labelled as intimidating, is intimidated by a shabby old taco stand. Who knew. But all in all I ended up loving Oaxaca, and filled my days with more than just food believe it or not.
There are endless museums, galleries, coffee shops, all the textiles and jewelry you could ask for, and of course churches and cathedrals. The latter I would frequently and happily retreat into for some quiet and shade.
I highly recommend this city if you plan on visiting Mexico, just promise me that you’ll find the local taco stands or it didn’t really happen!
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stay on topic
11/15/2020
English
You could definitely see your skills within the work you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.
Thank you Elenore!