05/25/2019
01/23/2019
This is far from how I intended to start blogging, but clearly my intentions were getting me nowhere fast sooo…
A quick recap, (which I do whole heatedly intend to share further details on in future posts, so please stay tuned). Just shy of one year ago I left Edmonton after resigning from my one and only grown up (as I see it) job which, if I might give it the respect it deserves, turned into a 12 year career in IT with one of the worlds leading energy companies. I sold my house and many of my belongings to live out my version of a slightly ridiculous but nagging Eat Pray Love obsession by travelling to the Dutch Caribbean, India and the Middle East.
I then spent an on again off again four months visiting my sister in America before taking off on another adventure which unfolded faster than anticipated as it was, kindly put, encouraged heavily by US border control. I expedited the travel plans that had been swirling around in my head and now I find myself alone again for the first time in eight months, with a slightly impressive tan for only eight days, and overly unimpressive tears in my eyes.
I should have seen this coming, but things were moving so fast before I left I just figured I’d figure it out once I got there. Clearly my way of avoiding what I couldn’t bear to admit to those I was leaving, that maybe just maybe what sounded like a beautiful exciting opportunity to be taking advantage of, wasn’t really where my heart was..is. So ungrateful right.
A more recent recap: I just spent the last eight days in a tanning competition with my good friend from Canada, haha just kidding. I just spent the last eight days with my good friend from Canada who so kindly couldn’t bear to leave me deported and alone on my 35th birthday! If we think tanned teary eyed Lina is bad, let’s not even unpack what 35 alone thrown over the Mexican border could have looked like!
But ok for real, my friend flew back to Canada last night and I moved to the Island of Cozumel today and I’ve finally been hit with the reality of my situation. I’m gone abroad for three months and I don’t know what life looks like after that. I loved where I was and who I was with in the last four months, and an eight day catch up in sunny Mexico with my friend was perfect. But now that’s done and it’s just me here. I know this can be a blessing and believe me I’m working on seeing it that way.
But this feels significantly different from when I left the same friend in Curacao and travelled through India alone for five weeks. I remember feeling excited and proud and happy. This is a whole different ball of soy vegan organic sugar free gluten free wax. But I will be gentle with myself and give myself this day before I sit up, smarten up, make a plan, get into a groove/routine/rhythm of productive and positive accomplishments.
I already semi-know what it’s going to look like, I guess I just wasn’t ready to put in the work yet. I liked the bubble I was in. Now the world can see me and I can see the world. It’s funny what being safe and comfortable can do to you. Make you soft. Ironically I am and I feel physically stronger than I’ve been in eight months, but maybe just emotionally I am softer? Those who know me are like – lol lol lol – because truly that does never change, softy to the core! Maybe I’ve lost that secret ingredient, that blend of confidence and inner strength I found or re-built in India..or maybe I’m just being a baby and I haven’t lost anything.
So what is it then? Why is being alone this time harder? I’ve decided that travelling alone can be one of the hardest yet most rewarding things we humans can do. Maybe I thought I was learning the lessons I needed to and could move on..but here I am again. I DO believe the universe will keep putting me here until I do what I’m supposed to do.
So stay tuned for how I fight back and take back the strength and courage that carried me through India which will lead me through the next few weeks until I am graced with the company of a few more good friends.
Good Night Ya’ll.
Sign-up to our Community
Enjoy following my travel adventures and want to be notified when new blogs are posted? Complete the form below & subscribe to our mailing list where you can receive regular blog notifications, insights & information about featured products, events and other things Loved by Lina!
English
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. Thanks and keep up the great work!
Thank you for stopping by and for the comment!